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Source: internal.du.nytimes.com --- Saturday, December 24, 2011
At least eight protesters were killed in Sana, the worst violence in the capital since President Ali Abdullah Saleh agreed to give up his post more than a month ago. ...
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Women often debate whether to take their husband's last name upon marriage.
Shouldn't men have a right to ask for it back upon divorce?
I'm serious. If a woman doesn't want to be married to a guy anymore, why should she be allowed to keep his last name? It wasn't hers before they married.
I'm not trying to be vindictive or petty. I'm genuinely wondering why the question of giving back a man's last name never comes up.
I should disclose that this issue hits close to home. I've been divorced twice, and both my ex-wives have kept my name.
I can understand why Wife No. 1 did. We were married for nine years and had a son together. I never expected her to revert to her maiden name.
But I was stunned when Wife No. 2 opted to keep my name. After all, we were married for only two and a half years. We had no kids together. And we haven't talked since the divorce was final almost three years ago.
Also, Wife No. 2 had been married before. When she divorced that time (after a longer marriage), she began using her maiden name again. So why not after our divorce?
"Why did you keep my name?"
Wife No. 2 and I have communicated only once since our split. It was via email. She asked if I'd seen any cookware she thought she might have left behind. I had not.
I didn't know she was still using my last name until I saw her email address. It had "Housewright" in it. I was miffed. Should I be angry? Should I bring it up? I was more confused than anything, but I decided to ask her. I knew I might spark a sharp reply.
"I'm surprised," I wrote her, "that you're still using 'Housewright.' I thought you didn't want any reminders of the marriage."
I watched my computer screen for what seemed like an eternity. Would she even respond? Finally, she did.
"It's the name people know me by," she replied. "So I decided to keep it."
"Well, OK," I wrote back. "Just wondering."
Her reply didn't make any sense to me because, as I said, we were married for such a short time. But I had no desire to get into a fight. So I dropped the issue. After all, how do you ask for your last name back? It's not like asking for a house or a car.
Still, I've wondered about the last-name question since. And I've devised some common sense guidelines, I think, on when a woman should relinquish the man's last name and when she should keep it.
It's OK to keep the man's name if:
? It was her first marriage
? You had a child together
? You were married more than five years
Conversely, give the name back if:
? You had been divorced before
? You didn't have kids together
? The marriage lasted less than five years
So what do you think of my criteria? Am I being reasonable -- or an ass? At the very least, maybe I'm starting a debate.
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Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ed-housewright/can-i-please-have-my-name_b_1159311.html
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TRIPOLI, Libya (AP) ? For the first time in more than four decades, Libyans on Saturday celebrated the 60th anniversary of the country's independence from Italy and France.
Under Moammar Gadhafi's 42-year rule, the celebration was scrapped and instead, only the 1969 date of his coup was marked.
"Today we begin the building of Libya as our forefathers have done," Prime Minister Abdurrahim el-Keib said during the celebration. "We call on our sons to build Libya after its destruction."
His remarks were part of an official ceremony in the capital Tripoli. Thousands of people flocked to the capital from around the country in hopes of breaking bread on an 7-mile-long (11-kilometer-long) set of tables planned along Tripoli's coast as part of the ceremony. However, the dinner was canceled due to security reasons and infighting among former rebel groups who were invited, officials said.
At the National Transitional Council's headquarters in Tripoli, ministers shared a cake and mingled with journalists.
No family members of deposed King Idris, who were forced into exile in 1969, were in Libya for the ceremony. Idris died in Cairo in 1983.
Libya was occupied for decades by various nations, and it was not until 1947 that both Italy and France relinquished claims to parts of the country. The United Libyan Kingdom was announced with U.N. backing in late 1951 under King Idris.
"As the late King Idris said at the time, preserving independence is harder than achieving it," NTC chairman Mustafa Abdul-Jalil said at the ceremony.
On the sidelines of the ceremony, the prime minister told reporters that the Economy Minister Taher Sharkas had resigned due to health reasons.
The resignation comes after protests demanding that officials of the former regime be barred from serving in government.
Sharkas had been appointed to the same post by Gadhafi just two months before the longtime leader's capture and killing in October, a few three days before rebel fighters took over the capital, Tripoli.
His resignation also followed a Thursday announcement by Abdul-Jalil, in which he laid out 18 new ethics and standards guidelines for ministers in the new Cabinet formed after Gadhafi's ouster. One of the new guidelines is that a minister cannot have served in a top post under Gadhafi.
Protesters in the eastern Libyan city of Benghazi, where the anti-Gadhafi uprising broke out in February, have been protesting for nearly two weeks, demanding transparency and justice from the country's new leaders. They also called for Sharkas' ouster after it was discovered that Gadhafi appointed him as a minister on Aug. 18.
The new government has said it is open to some reconciliation with former regime officials, but protesters are opposed.
According to an NTC official, who wished to remain anonymous because he was not authorized to disclose internal policy, the prime minister is the one who chose Sharkas for the post. The official said it was a "sloppy" mistake and that el-Keib had not done enough research on Sharkas' background.
In his remarks at the independence ceremony, Abdul-Jalil admitted that the NTC made mistakes during the transition.
"We are not going to defend these mistakes, but it is on us as a national duty and responsibility to be transparent and learn from them so we do not repeat them," he said.
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On the eve of primary voting, we are more or less clear about Ron Paul's racist newsletters and the Gingrich sexual and financial affairs, but less clear about the relationship between Mitt Romney and Bain Capital. As in the case of Paul and Gingrich, this too is an issue of the soul.
For starters, think "Pretty Woman" -- not Julia Roberts, whose livelihood was an open book, so to speak, but rather the character of Edward Lewis, played by Richard Gere, whose job in life was to buy vulnerable companies, break them up into pieces, sell them for a huge profit and move on while workers lose their jobs in the process.
As we have learned now, Bain Capital is such a private equity company, buying struggling companies, breaking them up, laying off thousands of workers, and selling off the remaining pieces, if any. In a New York Times article, dated December 18, the relevant paragraph is this:
"Though Mr. Romney left Bain in early 1999, he received a share of the corporate buyout and investment profits enjoyed by partners from all Bain deals through February 2009: four global buyout funds and 18 other funds, more than twice as many over all as Mr. Romney had a share of the year he left."
He is still profiting from the company he help to found and then left thirteen years ago and is paying only a 15% tax rate on the millions in capital gains.
In "Pretty Woman" Edward Lewis has a change of heart and buys into a struggling business to build ships for the Navy, thus saving his soul, along with Julia Roberts, with whom he flies off to New York to live (well) happily ever after, just as Romney left Bain to save a morally bankrupt Winter Olympics and then fly off to Boston and another life.
The question of saving one's soul came up in a Time.com Romney interview (Dec. 22) with Mark Halperin, who began the interview with a direct question about state of Romney's soul. The gist of the question was this:
"David Axelrod, who, as you know, works for the President, says that presidential elections are MRIs of the soul. That over time, in the course, particularly of the general election, the country gets to know the candidates [and that] ...over time the country will know the Republican nominee? Will know the President? Their soul?"
And what was Romney's evasive reply? After questioning Obama's birth and early life, he said, "I also think that a campaign is about an MRI of the economy and the record of the incumbent." There would be no personal soul talk from Romney, and indeed, it seems clear he is incapable of engaging on that level of inquiry. When pundits accuse Romney of having no "core" it is soul they are really referring to, and it is Bain Capital that is the outward manifestation of a lack of soul.
President Obama's soul-searching book "Dreams of my Father" reveals the depth of an authentic soul and the willingness to reveal those depths to the world. Can we imagine Mitt Romney writing a book about his years at Bain Capital and the search for an authentic self? Won't happen. In his ending to "Pretty Woman," Edward Lewis pays off Julia Roberts, breaks up another company and takes off to find another to break up, just as Mitt Romney, if elected, would break up America and sell of the pieces to the ever hungry 1%.
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Follow Richard Geldard on Twitter: www.twitter.com/richgeldard
Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/richard-geldard/the-bain-of-romneys-exist_b_1168733.html
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